See people - build relationships (Meeting Notes)
In this newsletter I share why seeing people is the key to building relationships at work - and why relationships matter so much.
Hi,
I hope you are safe and well.
I’m close to completing the final draft of my new eBook, ready for editing and artwork. The book is about teaching through tutorials or workshops. It's for anyone running them either within the workplace, at conferences or as training courses for clients.
I had a goal of the end of January for the first draft - and it looks like I may make it!
For those new to the Meeting Notes newsletter, welcome, I’m Rob, Chief Relationship Officer at Cultivated Management. This newsletter is about learning, communication, leadership and the art of being effective at work. Welcome.
Relationships require you to see people
The world of work runs on relationships.
We may wish to discount this idea, say it isn’t so and claim it’s not fair, but it’s how work works.
The better work relationships we have, the better equipped we are to get things done, to move people into action, to garner support for our ideas and to build trust.
Relationships outlast our expertise and our roles.
We’re the boss one year, then we find ourselves reporting to someone we managed. We’re the expert for a decade, then we’re surpassed by changing tech, someone more experienced or a shift in what’s trending in business that year.
Relationships outlast both our role power and our expertise power.
Anyone in an organisation can build relationships with other people. Your position and expertise in the business does not preclude you from building strong working relationships with others.
When people switch roles or join another company, they often bring trusted people from the organisation they’ve just left. They surround themselves with those they have good relationships with; people they can trust to get the job done.
Relationships open doors, allow you to garner support for new ideas and aid in making your work more joyful than it may be if you don’t like the people you work with.
Relationships are built on seeing people.
The more time we spend with someone, the better chance we have of building stronger relationships.
Think of the millions of people in the world. The chances are you could be good friends with a huge number of them, it’s just you’ve never met them. You’ve not spent time with them. You don’t know them. And they don't know you.
Think of all the people in your workplace that you’ve never even said hello to. You may find they’re similar to you, you share similar values, you like the same hobbies, you have a connection, you could even be friends - you just don’t know them yet.
To build a relationship we have to spend time with people. We have to see them.
The move to remote work and computer aided communication makes this much harder.
Communication, and therefore human connection, is becoming more transactional.
Transactional Communication.
If we want to speak to someone we book a meeting. If we need to connect with someone we've never met before, it’s done through a transactional window, slotted in amongst other transactions and work, and it’s typically time-boxed - 30 minutes seems to be the default.
We may exchange some pleasantries on the call but the chances are we jump into the topic at hand. After all, we have more transactions to get through today.
We tend not to deviate too much from the topic at hand. It’s stilted through a screen. We get tech issues, the lighting is bad and work related distractions like new mail and pings on Teams don’t help.
This transactional operation makes it harder to form genuine human connections. Not impossible, just harder.
Energy is harder to transmit. We don’t really get a good sense of who that person is. We’re often not ourselves. There are few body language clues - no chance to get a baseline - or mirror people.
There’s less chance to shoot the breeze on a call - less chance to find topics that we share in common. It all feels a little…..transactional.
With a heavier move to remote and work from home, there’s less chance for serendipity. We don’t bump into new people in the canteen or by the vending machine. We don’t see someone we know who introduces you to their team mate or new boss.
It makes it harder to build relationships. It takes longer. It’s how many businesses operate now.
I’m not advocating a back to office policy, far from it, I love being able to commute to the studio everyday rather than sit in traffic.
However, I am advocating for a focus on building and nurturing relationships, even if it is a bit transactional and a bit weird.
Keep connecting.
Whether remote or in the office, keep connecting with people and furthering any conversations. Ask them questions, find out more about them, understand who they are, build trusted and friendly relationships. Just keep seeing people.
The more we see people, the better our relationships. Relationships are formed person to person, one interaction at a time.
Try to be yourself, be authentic, be professional, listen and understand the other person.
This is not a machiavellian approach to getting what you want - it’s a behaviour of growing your ability to maintain and hold healthy, positive relationships at work. Some of these relationships flourish into friendship, some remain merely work based.
But trust me - the better your relationships with the people you work with, the more enjoyable work is, the more you get done, the more you can help others and the more opportunities will open for you.
When I’m leading teams I focus on behaviours alone - and one of those core behaviours is how good someone is at building and maintaining positive relationships in the workplace.
Positive, healthy, trusting relationships in work is good for business, it’s good for people, it’s good for your career and it makes the workplace a whole lot more rewarding.
I’m always on a mission to help businesses achieve their business results - but that’s only possible if we cultivate a workplace that enriches the lives of all who work in it too. One way to foster and cultivate an enriching workplace is through building strong relationships.
That can only ever be done by seeing people.
See them. Make time for them. Meet in person if you can. Develop your super power of effective communication. Understand your own communication preferences (and the other person’s). Listen. Show up.
Work becomes much easier and more rewarding if you can do this.
If you enjoyed this newsletter then please consider:
- Sharing this content with others you feel would get value from it.
- Downloading the free ebook 10 Behaviours of effective employees.
- Buying a copy of Zero to Keynote
- Sitting the online Communication Super Power Workshop to develop your super power in work
It means a lot. Thank you.
Until next time
Rob..
