How to unleash potential - through relationships

Hi,

I hope you are safe and well. It’s been a busy week here at Cultivated HQ.

I’ve been shipping more Zero To Keynote books, did a guest speaking slot today at a Toastmaster meeting, and am dealing with LOADS of comments (nice ones I may add) after last week’s stationery video went a little bit mad on YouTube.

Anyhow, not long until Christmas, so I’ve started prepping my annual review, which I will share nearer Christmas. 

I’ve done an overhaul of my Personal Knowledge Management System this last week and really started to use Zotero fully. It took me about 2 days to curate all of the items in Zotero - but everything is now nice and neat. I’ll probably do another video on this latest change at some point too. 

In today’s edition

1. Relationships are how work works
2. From the editorial desk

I’ve dropped the link of the week for now. When I’m writing a book, I don’t read web articles. I find they influence my writing too much, and they distract me from my task of writing. 

The next book is a follow up to my stupidly successful Diary of a Manager free eBook. This second in the trilogy weaves in the aspects of “Releasing Business Agility” through the narrative. I’m quite excited about this one - a story book explaining how to help your business get smoother and quicker!

It will be an eBook only and if everything goes to plan, which it won’t, then it should be out in the New Year!

For those new to the Meeting Notes newsletter, welcome, I’m Rob, Chief Incentives Officer at Cultivated Management. This newsletter is about learning, communication, leadership and the art of being effective at work. Welcome.

Relationships

Relationships are how work works - positive relationships are how good companies (and people) get things done. Relationships are always interpersonal (between two people), as in, we don’t build relationships with teams, we build them with individuals. 

Relationship “power” (as in the ability to get things done), is the most effective form of power in the workplace too. 

It’s not hard to build professional relationships at work. But, you need to see people and spend time with them. You need to listen. You need to appreciate that people are more than their work.

With good professional relationships we can ask for help, be vulnerable, garner support, give support, have tough conversations, move people into action, debate, ask for better performance, challenge others, and more importantly, at least from a leadership and management perspective, unleash everyone’s true potential. 

When we truly know someone we can help them achieve their own goals and dreams, as well as help the business succeed. When we know people well, we know how far we can push each other - and we can have challenging conversations and learn to work well with different people - a precursor for Psychological Safety. 

When we take time to build relationships - and all relationships are built by spending time with people - then we also build trust. 

And yet, in many organisations trust is low, psych safety is low and support can be low. And it’s a shame - especially as it’s not hard to see people and spend time with them - and ultimately build a relationship. 

See people

It’s pretty tough to build a relationship with people you never see, talk to or interact with. Make time to get to know people.

Listen

Active listening is the greatest compliment you can ever give someone - and it’s the only way to understand other people.

“Listening involves patience, openness, and the desire to understand—highly developed qualities of character” - Stephen R. Covey - the 7 habits of highly effective people

Appreciate that people are more than their work

When I’m coaching or consulting with managers I ask them to do 1:2:1s with all of their team (individually). The 1:2:1 is not some HR mandated nonsense - no, it is a way to build a relationship. They work peer to peer too. 

It’s important though, that as you build these relationships you don’t make them transactional and only focus on the hard and soft skills of people. In other words, don’t make 1:2:1s, and the forming of relationships, just about work.

I typically suggest there are two other big buckets to people’s lives that need to be understood - or at least appreciated. We of course, tend to focus on what we can codify into a job description - the hard and soft skills of the work. But....

There are Life Goals or ambitions. What do people want from life? And can you help them get it through work? 

There are also life skills - those things people are interested in, or extremely good at, outside of work. Do they want you to know about them? If not, fine. If yes, do they want to bring these into work too?

I used to manage a coach who was also a graphic designer. He never shared this with anyone in the year he worked there, but as his manager, I took time to get to know him. He shared with me that his life goal was to be doing graphic design full time. He showed me his work. It was exceptional. I asked if he’d like to do some graphic design at work too. He jumped with joy. 

As it happened we’d launched a new strategy and needed some graphics that popped. He did the graphics and learned how to do commercial work, it brought him immense joy and it helped the business too. 

I wouldn’t have known about these skills if I hadn’t spent time with him, listened to him and understood he was multidimensional. 

Work is about keeping the business alive, but it’s also about creating a company that enriches the lives of all who work in it.

It’s about helping people reach their potential, feel utilised with their abilities and work in a caring and trusting environment. This is all done by building relationships. 

And when you part ways with people, they become part of your network - and everyone bangs on about how important that is - well, that’s relationships too. 

Relationships are built by spending time with people, listening and getting to know them.

Relationships are an interpersonal activity. Relationships don’t form without effort. And relationships include more than just work conversations.

As a manager - you will never know what your people want, what they’re good at, what they need help with or what ambitions and skills they have, unless you take time to get to know them. And 1:2:1s are an effective mechanism in work to support that.

And once you do this, you’ll see the rich tapestry of people unfold - and we are all rich with nuances, wishes, dreams, hopes, personalities, latent talents, quirks and everything else - and that’s what’s so awesome (and sometimes infuriating) about working with other people. 

The best managers know their people - and they help them get what they want from work, as well as helping the business succeed.

The best employees are those who spend time cultivating strong relationships in the workplace. And those employees who climb the ranks, garner support, get the good gigs, build their own teams and move people into action always have good relationships.

Editorial Desk

Articles published to the Cultivated website since the last newsletter.

How to make the business better

A primer on critical thinking

HR isn't evil - just misunderstood

If you enjoyed this newsletter then please consider:

1. Sharing this content with others you feel would get value from it.
2. Downloading the free ebook 10 Behaviours of effective employees.
3. Buying the “Take A Day Off” or "Zero To Keynote" books.
4. Sitting the online Communication Super Power Workshop to develop your super power in work It means a lot.

Thank you.

Until next time

Rob..