14 Leadership Rules That Will Transform How You Lead

One of the questions I get asked most often in my management and HR consulting work is simple: “How do I become a leader?”

There’s no single answer, but over the years I’ve developed a set of ideas—or “rules”—that guide how I lead. I keep them in a notebook, and I try to live by them in every engagement, every job, and in life.

Before we dive in, let’s be clear about something: management is not leadership. Leadership is not management.

“The difference between a manager and a leader is that a manager focuses on doing things right, while a leader focuses on doing the right things.” – Peter Drucker

Managers ensure the work is done correctly. Leaders ensure the work matters. Leaders set direction, vision, and strategy. Managers support this by making sure the right things are done in the right way. Often, leaders are also managers—they have people reporting to them and work to do themselves—but leadership is about influence, not just authority.

With that in mind, here are 14 principles for becoming a great leader.

Be warned – super cute animals in this video, shot on location at a local rare-breeds centre.

14 Rules of leadership

1. Lead yourself first

You cannot lead others until you can lead yourself.

Leadership begins with self-awareness, discipline, and personal growth. It’s about your behaviours, health, energy, communication, and ethics.

One rule in my notebook says: “Don’t tell others who I am and what I believe—show them.” Very stoic.

Leadership is demonstrated through action: staying calm under pressure, making decisions, being prepared, thinking rationally and critically, and bringing your best self every day.

2. Leadership is influence, not authority

A good leader does not command. They inspire.

Influence comes from role-modelling effective behaviours, consistency, and clear communication. Your job is to inspire people to give their best, adopt the right behaviours, and work together towards shared goals. Leadership is not about dictating—it’s about guiding.

3. Leadership is earned

A title does not make you a leader. People choose to follow a leader.

You earn influence through competence, consistency, and integrity. Even if you’re a manager by role, leadership is about how you lead, not the position you hold. Leadership is demonstrated daily through actions and decisions.

👉 If you wish people to follow you – care about something important - and be visibly passionate about it.

4. Focus on behaviours

Your team watches everything you do.

Words, tone, body language, decisions, and reactions all matter. People mimic the behaviours of their leaders. Set a high bar for integrity, professionalism, and consistency—and live it. Don’t just talk about your values; show them.

5. Care about something

You cannot inspire others if you don’t care.

Whether it’s your company, your team, your product, or a vision, enthusiasm and passion are contagious. When I moved to an HR role that was purely about ticking boxes, I lost my ability to lead. When you care, your team can feel it—and it drives engagement and performance.

6. Care about people — but don’t overvalue approval

Leadership is a balance. Care deeply for your team, but don’t let everyone’s opinions dictate your decisions.

You will upset people at times — and that’s okay as long as you don't do this through poor behaviours, or on purpose. Listen, gather evidence, and make the decision you believe is right. Leadership requires courage as well as empathy.

7. Focus on what you can control

You cannot control other people, the market, or the economy.

You can control your actions, your behaviours, and your energy. Effective leaders focus their attention on what is within their influence and let go of the rest. This is where true impact comes from.

8. Study the system you lead and improve it

Leadership is about strategy and direction.

To lead effectively, you must understand the current system, identify obstacles, and make informed improvements. Don’t push change blindly; unblock obstacles and overcome problems, guide your team, and create an environment where meaningful change can emerge.

9. People are naturally hard-working

Most people want to do good work—if it’s meaningful, clear, and challenging.

Your role as a leader is to understand your team: their strengths, motivations, and needs. Provide clarity, focus, and purpose, and people will deliver. Leadership is about unlocking this potential.

10. Discipline to do the work

Leadership requires discipline—not over others, but over yourself.

Do the hard work, follow processes, have difficult conversations, and consistently show up. Discipline builds trust, credibility, and momentum. Teams follow leaders who commit to doing the work themselves.

11. Know the work well

A leader should understand the work, the business, the system and the people they lead.

You don’t need to be a specialist in everything, but you should be informed enough to guide decisions, teach others, and inspire confidence. People seek out leaders who know the work better than anyone else.

12. Don’t do or say anything that requires an apology

Make decisions thoughtfully and respectfully.

Avoid gossip, temper tantrums, or undermining people. Challenge ideas constructively, listen, and then lead decisively. Apologise only when you truly make a mistake—but aim to minimise those moments.

13. Communicate clearly and calmly

Leadership is nothing without communication.

Clear, calm, and consistent communication prevents problems before they arise. Most workplace issues stem from poor communication, so invest in this skill—it’s a superpower in leadership.

14. Give credit where it belongs

Leadership is about amplifying others.

Recognise and reward good work. Celebrate success publicly, and take responsibility privately. Never take credit for others’ achievements. Leadership is about helping your team shine.

Final thoughts

Leadership is hard. It’s not a title—it’s a daily practice, earned through care, competence, and example.

At the heart of leadership is self-mastery, influence, and vision. Become a better person, role model the behaviours you value, and lead with clarity, courage, and care.

Follow these principles, and you won’t just manage—you’ll inspire.